'Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions', something to remind myself everyday.

ANGELA QUENNINE SIM YEE SZE YUN
February 2011 March 2011 June 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 January 2013

It a dead space, and it's the only space i could actually rant to. As always, got so much things running through my mind but i dont know which to start with. Probably out there should have an invention of machine which is able to type out whatever is on your mind. Hate to say this, hate life in year3. But reality slap hard on my face, i still have to pull it through no matter how tough it is. Look back, i really wonders how i come till today, i wonder how did i hang on. Interest in it seems like a rollar coaster ride, it's going up and down through these years, and sad to say, its at the utmost bottom right now. Yeap right now, when i'm just left with FYP, just left with probably 8months or less. 'Effort pays off', i doubt so. Because, now 'Effort became trash'. Probably the most heartwrecking scene to see, most heartbreaking thing to be heard. In exchange with all the cuts, sweat, time, energy, it ended up in the bin, boo ... Just in a second. The pain won't be felt unless you go through it yourself. I thought i gave my best, and it didnt. I thought effort do pay off, and it didnt. When i was year1, i always heard what's life going to be in year3. I choose not to believe, and now i regretted. Cause it was true. So true till i wish i could go back to those life. When they are patient, kind, thoughtful. Now, all i get back was roll eyes. Yeap. ROLL EYES. For the first time ever, i wish i could reflect on the feedback asap. Like really asap. Think twice, probably retribution will strike. Probably one day, your kid will roll eyes and get impatient with you, till then you will know that pain. Yes, just one day, one fine day. Continue with this attitude and no one will appreciate you even you try to be nice.

Unfair, Jugdemental, Selfish. Is always the exterior of every thing that means everything? Through brick laying, i learnt, only filling up the inner then you would get the best out of the exterior. Even having the best exterior with empty filling, it will collapse one day. Why do we judge? There's always no fairness in this world. 'Comparing yourself with others will only make yourself angry.' Yeap true that but, if we doesn't compare, how do we learn what is it call 'fair'? If we don't, how do we know how much effort we have put in? Everyone think for themselves, not excluding me, a selfish side. But why, some selfish could get so extreme? To the extent of they only see themselves. We are all human with feelings.

Life is being such a struggle.